Bleach: Realm of the Broken Blade

A forum-based original AU Bleach RP.


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» Tsubine's Code Testing
A Time For Critique EmptyWed Jan 10, 2018 1:33 am by Tsubine

» Rumors and Alternative Facts [Private]
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Our users have posted a total of 2339 messages in 271 subjects

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The newest registered user is Zampakto

    A Time For Critique


    Posts : 988
    Join date : 2015-02-12
    Age : 26
    Location : California

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    Post by Serenity on Sat Feb 28, 2015 9:54 am

    Dear Friends,

    Alright guys. This is something I've wanted to ask about for a while. You all have read through my apps and have role played with me in some way. Because of this, I would like people to give me some advice to advance my writing. I don't mean with my writings structure, such as spelling, grammar, and all of that. I would like advice on how I could make my characters seem more interesting, fun, and real. I would like some advice on how to make plots more dramatic and fun for those who are role playing with me. I have noticed that some characters I create sit there because no one seems to really be interested in them or their plot, so I want to learn to prevent this in future characters.

    I also encourage everyone else to ask for advice as well. If you want to reply to this, be critical, but be kind with your words. Don't make it feel like you're attacking someone and do not be rude. Also, if you're one of the people who have not role played with me, I would prefer it if you did not comment here. It's no offense, but I'd prefer advice from people who have had more experience with what I've done. Thank you very much!


    Posts : 170
    Join date : 2015-02-12

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    Post by Snopy on Sat Feb 28, 2015 11:52 am

    Being perfectly honest, I don't see many problems with your characters. There might be one or two I'm not all that interested in, but for the most part I'd role play with just about all of them if two things happened. One of them is totally on me, I need more characters to actually throw in. The other is I need to do it without completely freezing other plots I love. The second one probably isn't an issue. The first one is on me. Another thing is every so often you have a character who just seems so damned specific, that most of my characters wouldn't work (usually your location locked "trapped" ones). Unfortunately location locked characters, while they DO need to exist (not everyone starts out with the freedom to travel everywhere), puts people with characters who are not liable to ever go to that location in a tougher spot.

    I can't give you any real CRITIQUE, I'll leave that to the others. I like ALL but maybe one or two of your characters (those are consistently ones you are already using in plots with other people so that's not even an issue). I can say this. You have a character you want to use? Discuss it with me. Cause I'll be 100% honest, every time I inquire about one of your characters I'm not already plotting with, they're major plot is being done with someone else. You have a character just sitting there, talk to me and I'd be HAPPY to make a character who can be part of that plot (while still not being completely catered to your character, for obvious reasons). I didn't realize this was an issue because it felt like every other one of your characters had their important plots being done already. So I'd just sigh, shake my head, and stick to what we already had, or go discuss plots with Tsu since we're in the middle of discussing some. I do want more than the...what? 4 plots we have moving? So yeah, that is the closest thing I can give to a critique.

    Posts : 45
    Join date : 2015-02-20

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    Post by Silim on Sun Mar 01, 2015 8:38 am

    Simply put, I'm terrible at critique for roleplaying, so I can't really speak on this. Sorry, Sere.
    Hiragi Yoshiya
    Hiragi Yoshiya

    Posts : 32
    Join date : 2015-02-24

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    Post by Hiragi Yoshiya on Sun Mar 01, 2015 12:59 pm

    Even though I've only done two or three threads with you that never got completed(mostly because I lost touch with those specific characters), I do happen to pay attention to most of the threads you do with Tsubine and the others. And besides, we will roleplay more in the future regardless of what happens in this thread.

    Honestly, not to sound repetitive and fall in line with everyone else said, but there is nothing wrong at all with what you've done so far with your characters. at least not in principle. But if you feel that they just sit there, then my advice with that is to take look back at them and think of ideas that would make their personal plots interesting, bring more of their ideals and personal feelings to light, or go against the grain, if that makes sense. For example, even though it is somewhat extreme, when I first made Miki, she was a promiscuously playful character with a focus on sexual humor.  

    I felt that at the time I kind of wrote her into a wall because it felt that there was nothing to do outside of comedy, in spite of her budding relationship with Krito. So what I did as a way to fix it was basically to try something new, go in a different direction, invert/flip around the typical facets of things I put into characters and turned Miki into a very complicated, deceitful character whose vulnerable, broken, and shattered inside.  And now? the writing is a little better because it's a fresh feeling, a new form of plot I never pursued before because I hadn't evolved enough back then to enjoy it.

    So in explaining all of that, the main point of my advice is to not necessarily see what we want in the characters but looking deep inside to find what you could do that really adds an interesting dynamic, as that's a great starting point for any character, adding an innovative touch that wasn't there before. So, if you have a character whose happy-go-lucky, why not make them be hiding behind that happiness and be emotionally empty/sad inside?

    If you have a character who has committed some heinous act and regrets it, why not have them walk a path of redemption? There are alot of opportunities you can create for yourself just with saying, "Hey, let me try something I've NEVER done before in a character and see where that goes. "  

    In my opinion, I think alot of the drama that you can create comes from what the writer thinks works well in that thread but it has to fit in with the entire schematic of the story. Sometimes a certain thing in their personality might drive a wedge between another character, and from that much drama can be created. This doesn't merely apply for roleplaying but I do think it's a necessity to have. It can turn a lovely social thread into a dramatic one.  

    All in all, you probably already do this with your characters since I read your threads alot but lose track of your apps, and from those I seen with Kaminari and Midori, I think you've done an exceptional job. This is advice for the characters you feel end up sitting around because that's how I have felt on occasion myself.
    Better Red than Dead

    Posts : 709
    Join date : 2015-02-12
    Age : 25

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    Post by Tsubine on Sun Mar 01, 2015 6:34 pm

    I actually thought of something to critique you on. Basically, there are times where you don't use a setting to your advantage or its fullest. Sometimes, it may be because of the setting itself might be somewhat limited of course. And others, it may be because of the RP partner in question. A sort-of example of this is An Arcadian Beauty. The thread itself was great, even though it did stall for a while (and that was my fault moreso). But the fact is, it's a thread that could take place anywhere, with only name changes for locations.

    Granted, the overall scheme of it was something that could not have been transferred, but the thread itself did not have much in terms of roots to the setting besides the location. An example of using the setting well while still keeping it slice-of-life-esque was AE Serenity getting the dragon. It may not have lasted long, but it was something that is slice-of-life (getting a random, rambunctious pet) while using the setting (it was a fuckmothering dragon) to its fullest. Things like that, I would like to see more of. They're out-of-the-blue, they're fun, and they keep people (or at least me) interested.

    Posts : 988
    Join date : 2015-02-12
    Age : 26
    Location : California

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    Post by Serenity on Mon Mar 02, 2015 7:01 pm

    Alright, I appreciate all of the advice given here... And now I think I need to explain something for everyone who enjoys RPing with me.

    First off, though it may be obvious to some, I'm going to explain muse and drive... Muse is my brain having idea after idea... Drive is actually wanting to write those ideas out. I need both for shit to work.

    My muse and drive to role play does not come from role playing in one thread. In fact, it comes from role playing in all of the threads I've got. This is something I've noticed about myself and I feel bad for you guys when it happens...

    For one, if we're all in this flow and ONE person stops posting, that flow is wrecked. I can sometimes keep going, but not all the time. Once that flow is wrecked, so is my muse. If muse stays dead, my drive dies. Getting these back is difficult as hell.

    This means that if I have a thread with Silim, Dai, and Tsubine... and we just keep posting and posting... And Silim stops posting, my brain trips over itself and lands face first onto concrete. It's not something I easily recover from. At the same time, if I just have a thread with Tsubine and Dai and then Silim suddenly starts posting, my brain runs into a wall. This is a VERY stupid thing and it's HARD AS HELL to keep up, but this seems to be how my mind is working. (It's a theory anyway)

    I've been thinking on it because I don't understand why I can be revved up and ready to go, go, go... And then suddenly it's just... bleh... Like right now. I've posted so little because RP just stopped. With the transfer of the site, it's understandable, but it's still a pain in the ass for people who want to continue threads.

    As said before, this is kind of stupid... but it's the only theory I got for why my brain dies so easily and quickly...

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