His Time in the Sunlight [Private]

The first step into the grass had to probably have been the greatest. The soft feeling as it tickled between his toes, brushing the soles with sensations he had not felt in the longest time. He felt a small smile cross over his face as he took his second step, and his third. He had been walking with a cane for a few days now, so when the nurses came to him and offered for him to go outside for a while to enjoy the sunlight, he couldn't have gotten out of bed faster. He had readily accepted that offer, limping through the hallways and being shown into an enclosed courtyard. Before leaving him be, the nurses asked him if he would like to remain undisturbed by any visitors. He chuckled at that and gave a response in the affirmative, "Oh, unless it's Kaminari." He figured she probably wouldn't choose today to visit of all days - he expected that he'd probably not see her for a little while. She took to flights of fancy every so often and, while she had been pretty regular in her visits lately, he had not seen her for a couple of days. Probably for the best, they'd been pretty uninteresting days which he'd spent most of sleeping.

As his mind wandered back to the outside, he hobbled through the grass with a smile, not really lifting his feet in order to feel the material beneath. A breeze blew across his face and while he may have had an open window, there was a difference between it crossing your torso and the breeze going over your entire body. He actually stumbled slightly from the feeling but caught himself in time, letting crackled laughter escape his throat from the feelings it brought out in him. You came to appreciate something so simple as being able to go and walk outside with the barest of assistance after weeks of remaining under care. His muscles had mostly atrophied, so he needed to get strength back in them. This kind of exercise was great for him, he felt.

Eventually his senses tingled and he turned around slightly, confused. He was certain that he asked for nobody to be around to see him - though that thought itself caused his heart to rise a little. No, he needn't get excited without knowing exactly who was coming around the corner...

He had just been about to go around the corner to see who was about to disturb him, when an excited voice told him exactly who it was and that feeling in his chest raised up even further. As Kaminari basically bolted up to him in her excitement, he was worried that he was about to be bowled over by a tiny cruise missile. A tiny and cute cruise missile, mind, but that wasn't enough to make him want to be bowled over right now. Instead, he would hope that she slowed down before collision occurred, for he knew full well that he wasn't going to be able to get out of her way in time. He closed his eyes and tried to stiffen his stance for the hit when... nothing happened. He opened one eye slightly to assess the damage and instead felt a pair of warm arms surround him in a hug. He let out his breath and relaxed his shoulders, relaxing lightly with a smile. "Heh, yeah. I've been out of bed for a few times, but this is the first time I've been allowed to be out without constant supervision - well, other than being in an enclosed courtyard with immediate access for any 4th Division member." He chuckled softly and let the hug continue until Kaminari was done before stepping away from her, watching over her with a smile.

"So, come to see little ol' me, huh? What brings you here on this fine day?" He asked, beckoning for her to follow him so that he was able to find a seat to sit in. His legs were already beginning to shake a little bit from the exertion so he wanted to sit down and rest. He slid to the side and patted the seat, seeing if she wanted to sit down. He hadn't been out for overlong but he wanted to preserve his current strength for more walking and talking later. He yawned some and straightened his back, closing his eyes slightly. "It's nice, you know. Being able to finally be out in the sunlight like this. I missed it. Sunlight through a window is just no the same."

He raised an eyebrow lightly when she passed him the plastic-wrapped object. He was about to comment on store-bought treats when he remembered that she'd been talking to him recently about her cooking and how she'd been working on that. He chuckled lightly and unwrapped it, popping it into his mouth with a smile. "Plastic wrapping now? I didn't think you'd go that far, Kami-yan." He chuckled again and shook his head, watching her take her seat next to him. He blinked a couple of times as he saw her smile fade and his own smile hardened some, Dai watching her warily. She mentioned wanting to speak with him and he nodded, looking back up into the sky. They spoke some more and then Kaminari spoke of something he didn't expect - someone had tried to kill her. Someone had attempted to fill her mind with doubt. He sneered slightly - it had only been a short time, if one could call it that! He grit his teeth lightly as he took in what she was saying before relaxing somewhat and breathing out.

It would be an instant before the frail Shinigami did something Kaminari likely did not expect. He brushed aside the hair from her forehead and in one fluid motion brought his lips to it. He held it there for a few moments before breaking off and reaching an arm around her to bring her in closer. The gesture itself was meant to be friendly and comforting, to try and bring a bit of a smile to Kaminari's face. He let out a soft breath and sat back some, looking her in the eyes with a kind expression, "I think I've fully embraced death myself, though that probably doesn't make me very good. If it's worth anything to you at all, he was wrong," the kindness faded to a familiar sharpness, "Dead wrong. As long as you have those who are about you, you will always be useful. You will never 'need' to die." He wasn't sure what else he could say, frankly.

When she tensed, so did he. Every fibre of his body was telling him to get her help but he knew she wouldn't like that. He let out a light breath and reached over, bringing her in closer to him to use as a support. She called it 'pain from a year ago' and Dai really couldn't imagine how that must feel, still having that pain after so long. He sighed and pet her head lightly, smiling down at her. "Don't worry yourself about it, the doctor only wants what's best for you - though to tell the truth, after being stuck here for so long, I really can't disagree with your dislike for them," he chuckled, "There's only so many pretty nurses a guy can take before it gets old, you know. I'm reaching that cusp." He laughed again and playfully nudged her, giving her another genuine smile.

"I truthfully do agree that you need to get that looked at proper, though. I'm hoping it isn't anything to do with that shit that was inside you... and me, I guess. I'm already worried enough about getting well again... I don't need to worry about everyone else in my life as well. Nor do I need them to worry about me." His smile embittered some and he looked down at the grass, running his feet along it and feeling it between his toes. "Thanks for coming by the way... I appreciate it. A lot. It's actually pretty lonely here..."

and it is at this moment that I ask myself: should I?

He furrowed his brow lightly at her mentioned distrust of doctors. Yeah, he knew about it but it didn't make it any less frustrating to him. He tried to hide his minor irritation at it with a calm smile, hoping that she wouldn't entirely notice. When she changed the subject, his shoulders visibly relaxed and his forced smile became a lot more natural. Of course, what was said next wasn't actually that much better. Dai had been missing her visits; for her to want to leave now made him frustrated, bothered, annoyed! Why did it do this? He was aware that he always wanted to spend time with his friends, but this one felt different. It felt strange. Dai's brow furrowed somewhat as he attempted to work out what was going on. Why in the name of anything was he suddenly so hesitant to see her go? It gnawed at his very being. Eventually she stood up, said something more, and a memory hit him. A memory of over a year ago - a mistake that began everything... though in his mind, not a mistake.

"K... Kaminari," he croaked out, suddenly noticing that his voice was a lot quieter and a lot shakier than usual, "Th-thank you... I'm glad that you visited. It's a nice change of pace in an area such as this. If they tell you off, I'll vouch for you or something - I guess my word probably doesn't carry much weight, but I'll still fight for you." He smiled and shook his head, trying to get those stupid thoughts out - they refused to leave. "Also... Kaminari," he took in a breath, "once... once we're both a bit more free and such... would you want to do something together? Just us, nobody else?" He gave her a small smile, trying to disguise the shakes that were coming over him - he didn't understand them, he wanted to understand them.